Unbelievably gorgeous, determined, and intelligent, Diane de Poiters held the heart and mind of King Henri II of France until his death in 1559.
So, the question must be posed- how did she (a woman twenty years his senior) manage to secure and maintain influence over one of the most powerful men in Europe for decades?
Diane was lucky; she was born in an age in which it was fashionable to have girls educated in the same manner as boys. She was taught Latin, Greek, dancing, conversation, etc. What's important to remember is that her education was not tailored for practicality; it was tailored for her survival and success in court. And succeed she did.
At the age of 15, she married a pretty nice, reasonably rich French guy named Louis de Brézé. Keep in mind that this dude was 39 years older than her. Sick. She ended up having two daughters with him before his death in 1531. After his death, she wore exclusively black and white for the rest of her life. These colors also referenced her name, derived from Diana, the hot Roman goddess of the moon. Was she in mourning, or was she patenting her personal trademark? Perhaps both.
Here, the creepiness begins to set in. King Francis I asked her to become his son's mentor. Since his mother was already dead, the 10-year-old boy, Henri II, grew to love Diane... in a way that remains confusing for many. She served as a mother figure to him, teaching him courtly manners and other necessary skills for a future king of France. Soon enough, the skill set he required expanded to sexual matters, and she taught him that, too. So yeah, cougar.
The evolution of Henri II (and his facial hair).
In 1533, Henri II married Catherine de Medici. Catherine was a sassy and slightly malicious Italian chick who made no secret of her hatred towards Diane. This was an especially awkward situation because Catherine and Diane were actually distant cousins, and Catherine's hatred of Diane was one-sided. Diane actually saw Catherine as a cute, slightly malevolent baby cousin. She even made sure that Henri made enough stops in Catherine's bedroom to ensure the possibility of a royal heir and nursed the new queen back to health when she caught scarlet fever. Despite Diane's attempts to hook up the king and his new queen, it took years for Catherine to conceive a child. These attempts at taking the higher moral ground only made Henri more attracted to Diane, which made the problem even worse. Catherine thanked her for her efforts by trying to poison her. Diane literally ran Henri's life (not in a selfish way, but in a "Hey-I-love-you-and-I-know-what's-best-for-you-because-I-practically-raised-you-and-am-literally-twenty-years-older-than-you" kind of way).
Another thing that made the situation worse was that Diane was absolutely beautiful despite her age. She aged exceptionally well, and- even into her fifties and sixties- she was still considered the most beautiful woman in France.
She had several ways of maintaining her beauty throughout her life, including taking daily baths (gasp!), immersing her face in icy water to aid her luminous complexion, sticking to a specific diet, and exercising daily (heaven forbid). She also had some rather unusual ways of maintaining her beauty that were revealed when her body was exhumed in 2009. Scientists found her body's gold levels to be 500 times the normal levels, proving the rumors that she had experimented with drinking liquid gold as a beauty elixir. In a way, this elixir did work in giving her a porcelain complexion, but the anemia it caused also helped kill her in the end.
In contrast, Catherine de Medici was....not quite up to par in the eyes of her contemporaries.
She didn't have that great of a personality either. For whatever reason, hiring her own poison-maker wasn't conducive to making friends in the French court.
I mean, is there a comparison? Really?
So yeah, it ticked Catherine off a little when her husband was absolutely entranced with woman who was more beautiful, more intelligent, and more politically savvy than she could ever hope to be. It only made matters worse when the queen found out that the king's favorite mistress (Diane) was twenty years older than her, and she still didn't have a chance.
So, while Catherine was queen of France in name, it was Diane who held all the power of the queen. It was Diane who held the crown jewels, it was Diane who was in charge of the education of Henri's children (even those born of Catherine), and it was Diane who was allowed to write and sign official political documents under the signature 'HenriDiane' (so yeah, basically the Renaissance version of Kimye). She was politically brilliant, and much of the success of Henri's reign is attributed to her influence.
Henri gave her lots of nice things throughout her life, including the aforementioned crown jewels and many castles (including the amazingly gorgeous Chenonceau, pictured below).
After Henri's death (he was fatally injured during a joust), Catherine finally had the opportunity to banish Diane from court. Diane lived the rest of her life in one of her country estates at Chaumont, and she died at the chateau d'Anet at the age of 66.
Not a bad place to croak, eh?
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